Authenticity

Authenticity…

Just be yourself they say, shine in your light. It sounds easy right?

As easy as it sounds, why do so many of us find it so challenging?

Let's take a look at what it means to be authentic.

1. Does it mean being confident to give an opinion even if it may ruffle some feathers? Ok, i’ve already failed the test. It would be easy if your opinions fit into the major narrative, i’d be rocking it in that challenge. But when you know your opinions go against the grain, then it’s easy to shy away from those challenging conversations. If you are like me, the idea of confrontation gives you mild heart palpitations, so often I will listen to a conversation and if something comes up that I don’t necessarily agree with I’ll just go quiet for a while. Now it makes a difference if I’m with MY people and I anticipate an open mindedness to what I have to say without any fear of rejection or refute. Does that mean I pass the test? Is that good enough or do I need to push myself to muster the courage to ruffle a few feathers? Should I try to digest that a little confrontation will not kill me or ruin my life, it may even help me to grow a little stronger and a little taller?

2. Do I have to be completely down with the pleasant magic of not giving a f**k? I’m still waiting to read the book on this one and I’m hoping it cures me as I definitely have a giving a f**k disorder. I often think of what it would feel like to be that person who is completely free talking, sailing through life with wild coloured hair, clothes that shout out ‘I'm a free thinker who doesn’t give a f**k so challenge me if you dare’ Or if I start dying my hair those wild colours am I trying too hard to show that I don't give a f**k and inadvertently now do ??

3. Should I be walking the walk more than talking the talk? Yeap, I’ve read a lot of books, I fundamentally know how to save the world…but yet I’m not heading up any campaigns to change it. I’m doing the school run, planning my dinners for the week with a lot of brain space taken up with if my 6 year olds friends are being kind to each other today. Alongside of course whether my mothering is currently good enough to create the ultimate human being she’s surely destined to be to my own glory? If I did have the time though, I would definitely be saving the world, does my authentic good intention get me some points in being true to myself?

4. Do I have to be the ultimate beacon of kindness and compassion? I’m starting to think that self proclamation of being ‘spiritual' brings a lot of disruption to the authentic self. Would it be easier to authentically be a little bit of an arsehole and stick to it, instead of failing to live up to the values of the ultimate authentic spiritual being? There’s been occasions where i’ve killed a fly instead of taking an extra 5 minutes to shoe him out of the window and give him a second chance not to cross my boundaries…and i’ve watched politicians talk on tv and called them a bastard instead of someone yet to discover their inner light, but I probably wouldn’t want to tell you that incase you then considered me a complete spiritual fraud.

5. Finally, does this post admitting my short comings claw me back some authentic credibility or have I subconsciously copied some ideas from another writer and so sealed the deal as fraudulent failure at authenticity?

The truth is I don’t really have the answers but what I do know is that i’m not there yet. I’m hoping that maybe i’m at least on the right road to authenticity and that if I accept that we all stumble onto the ‘little bit of an arsehole path sometimes’ I will be doing my super shiny, sparkly souled authentic self some service?!